Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
