I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
