he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
