I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
