Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize