just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
