Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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