i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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