Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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