so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
