is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
