So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
