we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
