you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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