let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Couch. On fire.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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