a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
