I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
