I'm going to rape someone's good day.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
