Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
