Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
