i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
