Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize