Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize