You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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