How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
