sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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