i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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