You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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