Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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