so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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