i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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