He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
