I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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