The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
