This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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