someone threw a dead crab at me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
