So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
