After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize