So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
