So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
