Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
