idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
