Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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