Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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