Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
