1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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