The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Reggie can tackle my bush.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
