I accidentally had phone sex last night
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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