I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
