I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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