That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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