Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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