Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
