i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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