all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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