ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
