onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
