My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize