i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
