I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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