Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
