dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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