What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
