She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
