My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
